Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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