so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
