he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
