How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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