Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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