My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize