it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have fence marks all over my body
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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