I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
