IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
