I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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