I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
