What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
