ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
