Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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