Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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