It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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