I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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