Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.

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(914): View more from New York

i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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(805): View more from California

I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I need new friends

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(301): View more from Maryland

The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"

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(602): View more from Arizona

for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.

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