I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.