she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
