That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
