i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
