Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
