Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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