I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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