that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Still dying that you shit outside
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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