Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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