So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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