Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
