Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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