I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
