Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
