Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize