Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
