I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
