Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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