Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
