YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
