So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
