brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
