I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she peed on how many people?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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