then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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