Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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