Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
