I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize