HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
