Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize