Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
