i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize