I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
