So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
