You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
