Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
