U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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