I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
