if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
