I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
