I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
handjob tips. give me some.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize