i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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