I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
tonight lets celebrate not being married
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
