with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
