i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
