i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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