Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
