Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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