my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
