Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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