Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you will always have a special place in my vag
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
